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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head? An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? ...I can't jelly my dick up your ass (courtesy of my younger brother, lol)"

"Why did Princess Di cross the road? Interia"

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."

"what's the difference between a normal consumer and a prostitute? A normal consumer aims to get the most bang for their buck. A prostitute aims to get the most buck for their bang."

"When you neutralize an acidic solution in a titration, what do you do? Drop the base."

"What do you call a loaf of grumpy bread? Sourdough!"

"*runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? ""I'm a doctor"" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor"

"What's 12 inches and white? Nothing."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his George Clooney movies... But he's never gonna give you Up In the Air."