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Joke of the Day
"What do you do with a dead scientist? Barium"
Next Joke
"A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone."
"Once you've mastered being a surgeon... ... operating just become an exercise in patients."
"A girl just messaged me ""helpmyspacebarisntworkingcouldyoupleaseguvemeanalternative?"" Does anybody know what ternative means?"
"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."
"Did you hear about the woman who replaced her addiction to ornithology with alcohol? She was described as being off her tits."
"What a precious thing it is to bond with someone by talking shit about somebody else."
"I told my boyfriend that a penis is like a nipple They are shaped sort of like a nipple, they sometimes squirt white stuff, and it's an erogenous zone. He said ""yea, and mine feeds babies."""
"I told my dad to do a magic trick So he disappeared forever"
"What did the buddhist say to the hotdog vender ? Make me one with everything"