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Joke of the Day

"Dad Dinosaur: Look son a shooting star make a wish! Angsty Teen Dinosaur: I wish it would hit us and kill us all."

"Why do push up bras not work for some girls? Because 0x0 is always 0."

"Giving birth? Passing a gallstone? Monica Seles tennis match? Possible scenarios from sounds emitted from chic on elliptical next to me"

"It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."

"The best way to eat Welsh cheese? Caerphilly."

"My favourite joke at the moment... How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag? First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get? Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get?"

"I'm having problems with favstar. Can all of you trophy me to see if it's working right now? Thanks."

"My girlfriend lives on the east coast of Virginia. She's my Chesapeake Bae."

"Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button."

"Look girl, all I'm saying is , if I have to choose between you and chocolate milk Be prepared to cry"