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Joke of the Day

"Why do white people not like playing uno with mexicans? They take all the green cards"

"Hahaha this stupid baby on the bus thinks they can cry louder than me"

"What do you call someone who dances on cars ? A morris dancer !"

"I'm changing my name to Ceed. Because all girls want to succeed!"

"Apparently, the serving size for Oreos is ""until you feel gross."""

"Please write another brilliant status about how high you are. I'm on the edge of my seat here."

"Received definitive proof I'm going blind AND senile this morning as I just attempted to pinch zoom the newspaper."

"*appears in puff of smoke at a public pool* ""Warning, what you're about to see may shock you!"" Hey! What are y- *touches live wire to water*"

"[i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on"

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his cock out of the chicken"