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Joke of the Day

"[picking name for new puppy] 13: Pixie. 16: Rosie. Wife: Annie. Me: BATMAN!"

"For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her."

"What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard?"

"I like my women the way I like my wine 8 years old and locked in my cellar"

"Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less."

"I have a knock knock joke. You start."

"What's the difference between God and Bono?? God doesn't walk around thinking he's Bono!!"

"My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit."

"My football playing cousin went to prison He went in as a tight end, and came out as a wide receiver."

"Chuck Norris can't get through his steak breakfast without a fifth of whiskey."