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Joke of the Day

"It's so frustrating when your therapist tells you to go to your happy place then yells at you when you show up at her house"

"Marriage If I answer a question and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?"

"Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs? A: Cos they've no idea of the route."

"I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me ""Sank you"" How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!"

"Patient: ""Doctor, my eye hurts when I drink my tea..."" Doctor: ""Well take the spoon out then.."""

"'Dances with Wolves'... But it's just me, running around my backyard with an uncooked steak, screaming, while the neighborhood dogs bark."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass"

"Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you."

"What's better: A Parachute Jump or a BJ of a 90 year old? doesn't matter... must not look down.."

"So a rhino walks into a bar... and several patrons pay their tabs and leave because they see the danger in this situation."