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Joke of the Day

"Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts? Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars."

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust..."

"My friend is a telemarketer. Sometimes, when he's relaxing, I'll call him out of the blue and piss him off."

"A baseball player was hit in the head with a line drive yesterday... today he's more open-minded"

"How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb? They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was."

"""Dr. Oz"" sounds like the guy you'd buy shrooms from in community college."

"my test required a number two, pencil i thought it was a pretty shitty requirement"

"miscarriages You know what they say about women who've had miscarriages. They lose their inner child."

"Doctor, Doctor!! I think my wife is dead. What do you mean you ""think"" she's dead, either she is or she isn't. Well, the sex is the same but the dishes in the sink are piling up."

"Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use? Progressive."