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Joke of the Day

"I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God I've never seen one before, but I have faith."

"Did you hear about the man who was sexually attracted to cars? He had an auto-erotic affixation."

"Yo mamma so stupid when she heard of ""orange is the new black"" she thought Donald Trump became the president."

"If you love someone set them on fire. Did I get that right? Oh god what have I done. It's SET THEM FREE isn't it? Sorry burning loved one."

"I asked a magician, ""Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"" ""No, but I can pull a hare out of my ass"" - (More effective told out loud) :P"

"If a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months"

"Mom, Am I adopted? Son: Mom, Am I adopted? Mom: Nuh, you think we would have chosen you?"

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"I'm still not sure how the church expects me to do all that kneeling and standing and praying on just that one little wafer they feed you."

"What's the easiest way to make a million dollars? Invest a billion."