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Joke of the Day

"I hear Apple have released a line of people movers They call it Ivan"

"On the bright side selfie sticks are also lightning rods."

"Sorry I said you looked like black Garfield in your Catwoman costume."

"The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off."

"a sphincter says what? pants up, dont poop."

"My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues so we hit him..."

"Pupil: In other schools pupils get a choice of computers to use. Teacher: You get a choice her too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all."

"I'm extremely grateful that spiders don't scream back."

"Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more..."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a 6-offender."