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Joke of the Day
"My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues so we hit him..."
Next Joke
"They found horse meat in food in the U.K. ... ... and horse piss in the beer in the U.S."
"UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier"
"What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist"
"Talking about your ex makes it sound like you're not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person."
"Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays."
"An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone... ... she asks the carvers to write ""born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."" It wouldn't fit on the face, so they just wrote ""Returned unopened."""
"Him: I'll pay for dinner. Me: I want to pay. Him: I'll feel better if you let me pay. Me: Well, if your health is involved, go ahead..."
"I don't have OCD... I have CDO. The letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be."
"What does a kite and a stoner have in common? They're both high."