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Joke of the Day

"Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard."

"My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!"

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure."

"While walking home from the gym... I saw one of my aerospace engineer buddies at Starbucks. He was buried in his work when I walked next to him and asked, ""bruh, do you even lift?"""

"I'm a trustworthy friend. Count on me to tell you when our relationship is over."

"(Me giving a Rorschach test) What do you see? Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one? Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again."

"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? -Nice belt."

"Apparently I've switched to a mobile carrier named ""Searching..."""

"What does a mathematics professor do when he is constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"A man walks into an elevator and looks at the woman standing inside. He says, ""Can I smell your feet?"" She responds, ""Ew no"" ""Must be your pussy then."""