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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a dog"

"I met a Russian homosexual today His name was sir gay"

"I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit. He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow."

"Why is Santa always happy? Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)"

"People making jokes about communism are all sharing laughs"

"What do the wage gap and the story of Hercules have in common? They're both myths. EDIT: spelling"

"You know how in restaurants they often ask you if you prefer bottled water or tap water? In Flint, the waiter asks you, ""Regular or Unleaded?"""

"Woman sends emotional text that's 5 paragraphs long. Man responds with ""k."" Woman spontaneously combusts."

"My paper rips a lot It's tearrible paper."

"A British man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The British man replies ""I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."""