203491

Joke of the Day

"I planted some flowers, but they never grew. Should have seen it coming. The package did warn that they were pansies."

"I like to make a sandwich with just cucumbers and pickles... I call it the Before and After"

"what do you call a Cow with no legs? ground beef. what do you call a cow with three legs? lean beef. what do you call a cow with two legs? your mother."

"How do you describe someone who has a boner when they are at their workplace? Hard at work"

"cop: ""sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood"" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: ""ok that's better"""

"It's important to set goals. You don't have to accomplish them or anything like that. Just set them."

"How did Jesus get so ripped? 39 lashes."

"I don't like telling clever jokes about airplanes. They just go over my head."

"Did you hear that joke about mosquitoes? it's malarious."

"In my day cartoons made sense. Chipmunks did all the rescue rangering and a rich duck swam in gold coins like they were water"