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Joke of the Day

"You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out ""I hate you"" in morse code w my knife."

"Why did the bike fall over Because it was two tired"

"What do you tell a black jew? Go sit at the back of the oven"

"Atheist Sam's grand-daughter Saudi Atheist Sam gets an email that his new grand-daughter is named Saudi. His first response? Jesus!"

"I was going to make a gay joke butt fuck it."

"Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment."

"*sees people doing the mannequin challenge, brings back ice bucket challenge and dumps it on mannequin people*"

"Please, person who just said ""libary"", tell me more about what an avid reader you are."

"Procrastination is just like masturbation It feels good but you wish someone else would just do it for you."

"The longest joke in the world No link posts, so you can read the whole thing here: http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-jokes/longest-joke-ever.html"