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Joke of the Day
"I plan to retire at 30. The used tire business is just calling my name."
Next Joke
"Technology would be better if you could download sandwiches."
"no idea! I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have no idea!"
"What would you call The Flintstones if they were black? Niggers."
"911,What's your emergency? Me: I think it's a heart attack 911: Can you call back when you're sure, we're watching Walking Dead"
"What kind of comedian becomes more famous if they bomb than if they don't? An Islamic one."
"All animals are wild animals if you give them tequila and lift up their t-shirts."
"By a show of hands, who has hands? Sit down Leonard, you're a seahorse."
"I'm so drunk I can speak fluent Ozzy Osbourne."
"A few weeks ago I wrote happy Eid to the Muslims and autocorrect changed it to Happy IED. It almost blew up in my face."