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Joke of the Day

"I asked a blonde friend to check if my blinker was working, her reply was 'Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not.'"

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth... Then it's a soap opera."

"How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there."

"when I hit 45 I'm going to start sleeping in a coffin. let's be honest, my lifestyle choices have been questionable"

"Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble."

"Organ Freeman http://i.imgur.com/plVQyUC.jpg"

"Me: Babe will you love me when I'm old & fat. Wife: I sure do."

"What did the liberal say to the chicken? Nothing. He's dead. He was shot and killed in a home invasion and did not have any guns to defend himself. Sarah Palin 2016"

"Cheating on a good woman is like eating out of the trash instead going out for steak."

"What is it called when sensitive medical information about a very fat patient is disclosed? A hippo violation"