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Joke of the Day

"*seductively feeding you chicken wings while you hit on a hot chick ""I'm sorry, I really don't know what a wingman is supposed to do."""

"Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow.""!"

"Anytime I go to the doctors I feel so ripped off. Whatever my complaint is, it's always the same damn advice: ""Lay off the methamphetamine."""

"If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Genocide"

"Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome."

"Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go."

"Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?"

"HOW TO BEAT YOUR COMPUTER AT CHESS WITHIN 5 SECONDS: just set the difficulty to OBAMA.It will never come up with a strategy."

"Mein kampf es su kampf"

"What do Japanese guys do when they have erections? Vote"