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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand anymore? It was two tired."

"President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court ""I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!"" said an excited Obama."

"Getting married for sex... is like flying on an airplane for food."

"What is the hungriest mineral that exists? Apatite"

"The NSA is coming to town You better not call, You better not Skype, You better not type and I'm telling you why, The NSA is coming to town"

"Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day."

"I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper. Some day my prince will come."

"Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that."

"In a hurry? I'll tell you a joke about my penis. It's short."

"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ."