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Joke of the Day

"[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer."

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"Reading popular baby names. Once again, Adolf is nowhere to be found."
"What do you call a tennis match between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder? Endless love."
"Optimists see a glass that's half full Pessimists see a glass that's half empty Engineers see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be"
"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A faggot with dentures."
"What was the Seagull's favorite online streaming service? Netfocks"
"I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked."
"If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it."
"Me: ""The only person I need in my life is you."" Bartender: ""Please stop trying to hold my hand."""
"What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books."