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Joke of the Day

"[at a farm] Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles Sheep: Look I got a new ""hairdo"" Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway"

"*drives up to liquor store door, honks horn *wine jumps off shelf, hops into my car *speeds off"

"Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it."

"If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to shit yourself when you see everything else going on in the world."

"What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty!"

"What is Forest Gump's email password? 1forest1"

"So a seal walks into a bar And the bartender asks ""What can I get for you?"" And the seal replies ""Anything but a Canadian Club on ice."""

"Dirty joke What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands."

"My teacher called me racist today.... So I told him "" I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."""