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Joke of the Day
">Get text. Is Letterman. >Pet tricks and chill?"
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"Guess a movie funded by reddit featuring Tom Hanks and Matt Damon.???? Shaving Pao's Privates. ;)"
"Tomb Raider gave me carpal tunnel syndrome. ...and that was just the box art."
"Rave culture: A professor rushes two of his students to the maternity ward and says to the doctor... ""Brah! My pupils are super dilated right now!"""
"Stop calling Donald Trump ""Hitler"" Really, Hitler doesn't deserve to be slandered like that!"
"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Are you kidding me?"" ""That's another way of saying it, I guess, yeah"""
"How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)"
"My To Do List: 1. Buy a flat screen TV. 2. Hang it on a wall. 3. Put a tub of boiling water under the TV 4. Watch ""The Ring"" and see tht bitch fall when she crawls outta my TV."
"A Buddhist buys a hotdog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.. He takes a bite and then says ""wheres my change?"" The vendor replies ""change only comes from within"""
"A surgeon was put on trial for sewing several people's genitals to their faces. When asked why he would commit such a heinous crime he replied ""Eh, just to fuck with their heads."""