216198

Joke of the Day

"In America she's called ""Miley"" Cyrus, but in other countries she's called ""What America would be like if it were a person""."

"What's a Mexicans favorite protein? Whey"

"what are you getting your wife for her birthday? a sweater and a dildo... if she doesnt like the sweater, she can go fuck herself"

"911: what's your emergency? me: what's YOUR emergency? 911: *starts crying* omg no one's ever asked me that before! me: jk I've been stabbed"

"I've just brought a donut shaped pancake.... Holy Crepe."

"My dog does back-flips when the Raiders kick a field goal....... my buddy asked me what he does when they score a touch-down and I told him I didn't know, I've only had him for 6 years."

"The Rocky Mountains Ever since Colorado passed amendment 64, legalizing marijuana, there have been talks of renaming the Rocky Mountains to the Stoney Mountains."

"A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking... The girl says, ""hey John, how do you spell 'pedophilia?'"" He responds, ""gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."""

"You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go."

"How do you make a goldfish old? Take away the G."