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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients? Omelette you figure it out"

"There's been some interesting science news today. Apparently materials with a half life of 3 pass through valves at a extremely slow rate. -plauge inc"

"If I've learned one thing from twitter, it's how to get a ton of work done in an hour after wasting 80% of my day tweeting."

"I won 5th place in the swimming competition! There were only 5 of us."

"Did you know that Will Smith is a black smith?"

"*put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*"

"What's the Indian way of saying 'Bread of Heaven'? Is it: A) Holy Loaf B) Sacred Baguette Or C) Naan of the above"

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"A blind person, and girl drop into a well Girl says: It's so dark in here, don't you agree? Blind guy: Sigh* Girl: Oh so you're deaf too."

"Yes, I DO think ""did you bring my pizza?"" is an acceptable answer when you're in a public bathroom and someone knocks on the door."