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Joke of the Day

"Hootenanny is just one of those stupid made up words, like 'ambition' and 'productivity'."

"What does a man with a tiny penis have for breakfast? Well this morning I had a PopTart, 2 eggs and a glass of orange juice."

"Today I popped a G string while fingering a minor. I'm going to the violin repair shop tomorrow."

"[my 1st day as spelling bee host] your word is policy ""can you use it in a sentence"" um i think hes an undercover cop, he looks a bit policy"

"I've been studying the Cold War and nuclear weapons for history class non-stop... ...it's driving me MAD."

"Policeman: Why were you driving around in circles and laughing? Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round."

"Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant"

"Sleeping in central park Is it going too far to equate my experience sleeping in central park to being a Jewish person in nazi germany..."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do."

"What did the proctologist say when his nurse handed him a beer? ""I meant a butt light."""