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Joke of the Day

"My wife of 58 years said let's go upstairs and make love. I told her ""Choose one, I can't do both."""

"What do you call a Jewish incendiary device? A mazal tov cocktail"

"I tried to make a joke about unemployed people... But none of them work."

"Quit bragging yo. Jesus drove a Honda back in Bible days and said nothing of it. ""For I speak not of my own accord"" John 12:49 a."

"8yo: mommy how old are you? Me: 46 8yo: *blink blink* so you seen a real dinosaur?"

"People think life after college is nothing but feeling tired all the time, but that's just not true. There's also a ton of fear and anxiety."

"I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied ""Oh man, I slapped my neon that one"""

"""Hey what should we call our multi-million dollar juice company?"" ""Juicy Juice"" ""What? Are you sure? Why don't we-"" ""Juicy. Juice."""

"I'm glad the unbelievably loud teenagers on this flight are all white so I can hate them."

"If I ever found a unicorn it would probably only be about 5 minutes before I put it's horn in my mouth."