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Joke of the Day

"Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending."

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"A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."
"Tater Tots is a much better name than the original Crispy Potato Embryos."
"My cheap boss... Talks so much shit. I guess its hard to defecate when you're major tight ass."
"""I hope they bought enough beer so they won't notice how much I'm drinking"" -My prayer as I pull into my parents driveway"
"New guy: I really like your name Me: Thanks I got it for my birthday"
"I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston."
"When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice."
"Luke got Darth Vader a Christmas Present. Darth Vader: Luke... I know what you got me for Christmas... Luke: Nooo! No! No!! How could you possibly know?!?! Darth Vader: I felt your presents."
"When the grammar nazi learned his friend had less than 6 months to live. *fewer"