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Joke of the Day
"My wife said she wished she never woke up this morning. Turns out we do have something in common."
Next Joke
"What does Santa call his English Elves? Subordinate clauses. ... I'll see myself out."
"What do sea monsters like to eat? Fish and ships"
"My naughty parts are starting to tingle! I usually only feel like this in my genitals."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."
"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."
"What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell."
"*Skrillex, young and penniless, is working at a grocery store and shelving boxes of produce* *drops beets* Oh. Oh my god."
"They've just added no stockpiling paperclips' to the employee handbook like they knew what I was planning."
"What do you call a fist fight at noon? A lunchbox"