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Joke of the Day

"Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station? They wanted to get the lead out."

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."""

"divorce Wife to husband: I want a divorce. You always tell me I am fat. Husband: Dont be crazy. What about our child ? Wife: What ? What child ? Husband: So you are not pregnant ??"

"I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me; mistakenly as it were because I have the nerves of a guinea pig and puke when I cry."

"A gay guy wants a tattoo of truck on his penis... Tattoo artist asks ""What kind of truck do you want on it?"" Gay guy says ""It better be a 4x4 cause it's going to get muddy."""

"Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers."

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"me: *tries to befriend another human being* another human being: oh, no thank you"

"My girlfriend told me her head hurt. I said, ""No it doesn't, I really enjoy it."""

"Why is the part of a woman between her hips and her breasts called a waist? Because they could've easily fit another pair of tits in there."