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Joke of the Day

"What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common? They're both really high and have no access to water."

"""Yes, he has a great voice but does he have a family member in the final stages of a terminal illness?"" - Reality singing competition shows"

"Husband sat in his room throwing darts.... at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the target. From another room the wife asks the husband : ""What are you doing?"" . Husband: ""MISSING YOU""."

"""Moooooooo"" - bilingual donkey"

"Mr. Belichick how do you feel about these accusations against your organization? Deflated."

"SPELLING BEE ""Defiant"" Can I have the definition, please? ""No"""

"I follow back all spambots. I even star some of their tweets, because I'm looking for a spot in middle management when the robots take over."

"SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about ""my mom's a lesbian now"" DAD: please don't"

"*tries to turn on TV* TV: I have a boyfriend"

"Seven billion other people in the world and not one of them are naked in front of me right now. That just isn't right"