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Joke of the Day

"I asked a welsh man how many sexual partners he has had so he started counting, and fell asleep."

"Why was the drummer sad about his boring instruments? Because he had the doldrums."

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture in the room"

"You can call me Vladimir. Because I'm going to be Putin it in your butt <3"

"127 MILLION? How are there 127 million subscribers when the Reddit population is WAY LESS????"

"What's the difference between feminists and guns? Guns only have one trigger. At the time I was writing this, my mom and sister were in the middle of a death battle yelling match, help."

"[tv commercial] me: ""know what i'd love for breakfast?"" mum: ""what's that son?"" me: ""if someone pre-chewed my food"" narrator: ""porridge"""

"Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird."

"Q: Where do bees go on their day off? A: To the wax museum."

"Everyone has been in the Navy at least once. We all started out as a seaman"