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Joke of the Day

"A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office."

"What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!"

"Autocorrect changed honey to homey. Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by."

"What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole? Fore-play"

"people said my days of misquoting famous idioms were over but I'm like a phoenix rising from molasses"

"I don't like peanut butter... it just isn't my jam."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a vagina? A vagina is still good after a couple of nails"

"How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say ""I could do that."""

"4: can we name the baby Yoko? Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name 4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko? Me: ... 4: ... Me: yes"

"having sex for pleasure Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin. I had to shag a lot of animals to find that out."