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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Austen ! Austen who ? Austen-tentatiously well off !"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend said she needs time and distance does that mean she is calculating velocity?"
"Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years"
"I tried to buy a new boomerang today but I couldn't throw my old one away."
"Wow, I must look really hot tonight working out, everyone is totally staring at me. *walking on treadmill with a candy bar and a Pepsi"
"Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."
"What's the definition of a 68? That's when you blow me and I owe you 1."
"One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime to the second a dime and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three."
"What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!"
"I met a girl with 12 nipples It sounds funny Dozen tit"