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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan? I used to really love tractors."

"How to solve issues with life expectancy The doctor has given me four months to live. I shot the doctor, The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved"

"What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving? Twerkey!"

"I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either"

"Two black guys are playing a game. One of them jumps off a cliff and the other shoots himself. Who won? The government for having to pay welfare for two less people."

"Had a fight with the wifey last night. She exclaimed ""Shut up, women are always right and men are always wrong."" to which I replied ""Yes, you are right""."

"Why did I throw my phone out of my window? Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane..."

"Why does Santa have no children? Because he only comes once a year. Bonus! Why did Santa's wife divorce him? She wasn't the only one receiving his ""package""."

"Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha."

"I asked the guy from 127 Hours for help with my homework. He said, ""I would give you a hand, but I'm stumped."" I'll show myself out."