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Joke of the Day
"I used to be conceited, ... but now I'm perfect."
Next Joke
"[inventing the parrot] HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU"
"Recipe idea: Add ADDITIONAL cheese to your frozen pizza to make pizza with EXTRA CHEESE! (Ladies, you may pin this on your pinny web thing.)"
"If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, ""I'll cut you."""
"In middle school chuck Norris was assigned an essay about what courage was. He got an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with his name on it."
"GOD: there, my first animal :) SNAKE:youre not done right? How am I supposed to move? G:like this*shimmies* S: G:just kinda*shimmies* S:dude"
"""One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service"" - Abraham LinkedIn"
"How can you tell if a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out the cotton is already picked."
"You know what I'd say to the victims of the Russia-Ukraine conflict? Crimea River"
"I went all around town looking for an optometrist's office when, at long last, I found one. It was a site for sore eyes."