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Joke of the Day

"""More than 1 way to skin a cat"" - ""Killing 2 birds with 1 stone"" - Running like a chicken with its head cut off"" -- who ARE we???"

"Once upon a time (today) I had to help with pre school homework Me: -holds up yellow Me: What color is this? 4: McDonalds The end"

"Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke? Cause he just got it!"

"I wonder if Martha Washington ever got splinters from George's teeth."

"The other day I saw a short man carrying an LED tv and I asked "" hey do you help carrying that tv?"" And he replied all pissed off ""Fuck off dude, this is my tablet"""

"Doormats are a gateway rug."

"I was furious when I found my wife's profile on a dating website That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around"""

"All I'm saying is that Miley Cyrus was on the Disney Channel and had her clothes on when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama."

"Here's one myfriend's little sister told me. Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent."

"Why is Donald Trump still running for president? It's the only race that he hasn't offended yet."