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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do the Starship Enterprise and Toilet tissue have in common? A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons."

"Did you hear about the sarcastic washing machine? It takes the piss out of your knickers."

"Why are baseball players so cool? They always have their fans around."

"Do seagulls ever wake up in the morning and take a moment to gather their thoughts, or do they just go straight into seagull stuff?"

"What's your favorite joke? mine's Womens Rights."

"Why does Star Wars have 100s of people using lasers to fight and literally NOBODY using them to etch cute wooden drink coasters"

"Can anyone recommend a good website where people I knew in high school post pics of their meals?"

"What do Hillary Clinton and The Queen have in common?..... They're both hated by republicans"

"Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out."

"China lands on the moon! Salvages antique U.S. flag"