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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."

Next Joke
 
"News: Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.' He needs a calmer chameleon."
"God I hate hidden microphones They bug me so much!"
"Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature."
"I walked into the pharmacist's office and asked for condoms for my 12 year old son. The pharmacist asked ""is your son sexually active?"" I replied with ""no he just lays there and cries."""
"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the crap out of their dogs!"
"Your life and greatest achievements"
"If I gave everyone on the planet a penny... ...would that be considered common cents?"
"Tuna What do you call a can of tuna in a lesbians back pocket? DIP"
"[ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?"