215059
Joke of the Day
"A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?"
Next Joke
"How did the toilet paper beat the asshole in the election? With a smear campaign."
"Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it."
"I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!"
"Have you heard about the first restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere."
"How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew!"
"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"
"Set the bar low And watch people trip on it"
"What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy? A Nietzsche market!"
"My ceiling fan has 3 settings: 1. Very slow 2. Slow 3. I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident"