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Joke of the Day
"If I was antisocial I wouldn't have just ordered a pizza over the phone."
Next Joke
"""She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture."" Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend."
"I quit my job as an accountant It was just too taxing"
"What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!"
"I've been thinking about the Reddit rules and I thought of a major flaw [deleted]"
"I wish I had firearms. Or maybe one firearm and one regular arm."
"if you watch the titanic backwards hundreds of disgusting sea zombies come together as a community and rebuild an old ship"
"Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down."
"My mom always said I was like a punctuation mark I am an exclamation mark when I should have just been a period."
"Boss: You gonna get any work done today? Me: Sorry Boss, I was up late watching the game, I'll pick it up. B: Who won? M: Jack Daniels"