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Joke of the Day

"Finally thought of a retort to my bro's friend who kicked me from his car in 1998 I don't need your Camero anyway Ricky MY LIFE is a joyride"

"Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""Deja"" ""Deja who?"" ""Yeah, it's me again. I left my purse!"""

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone. I stayed in tonight. I'm not allowed to go out on St. Paddy's Day anymore. It's too much."

"Why is Jesus so sexually frustrated? he is not coming till judgement day. so sorry am i going to hell for this?"

"My brain hurts. That means it's getting stronger. Right?"

"I bet if Jeff Bridges picked up your kid from school today & said ""I'm your dad now,"" your kid wouldn't even question it."

"""goodbye, cruel world"" *hops into duck pond with bread strapped to my entire body*"

"Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam? His professor said he should study hard."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Banzai Barbie ...a small tree cut into a shape that vaguely resembles Barbie"