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Joke of the Day

"What did King Midas say to get peoples attention? Eh you!!"

"Deja Moo When you are sure you have heard this bullshit before."

"I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of"

"Screw this! I'm going to leave the original joke making to the professionals! Dane Cook... Amy Schumer... Carlos Mencia..."

"I found a stray cat today. Sadly, my dad is allergic to them so I had to put him down. At least I still have the cat for comfort."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches"

"A programmer goes on a walk XD"

"Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan? Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them."

"Have you ever smelled Moth Balls? How'd you get your head between it's legs??.."

"My left butt cheek was hurting pretty bad earlier, so I asked my girlfriend to massage it for me. I told her... that I didn't want it half-assed."