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Joke of the Day

"Crime would drop to 0% if police uniforms were scary clown costumes. ""Put your hands up and state your favorite balloon animal!"""

"What is moist, smells great, and is for dinner tonight? My poop"

"Men go to bars for 2 reasons: 1) They don't have a wife to go home to. 2) They have a wife to go home to."

"Buying a car from Hertz is like marrying a Prostitute It may look good on the outside, but you have no idea whose been in it or what they've done to it."

"How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick."

"When I die I want written on my tombstone ""Finally Offline""."

"What's the difference between USB and USA? One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data."

"What do Asians do when they have erections? They vote"

"What do Germans call a flying jew? Smoke."

"Maybe early risers just aren't as awesome at sleeping as I am."