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Joke of the Day
"Why was the pianist arrested? He was assaulting A Minor."
Next Joke
"A good rule to live by Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
"Someone came up to me and stole my candle I was incensed!"
"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the hell out of the dog."
"KIM JONG-UN: I'm banning sarcasm ME: well that's just great K: what? M: I reeeally hate sarcasm K: seize him...I think"
"Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector This tweet is brought to you by Tesco"
"[during sex] HER: I want you to make me scream ME: *tosses spider onto her chest*"
"I want to die like my Grandpa: peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like everyone else in the car."
"What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen? Just don't monkey with him."
"What time is it? http://youtu.be/mHyRCeKxhss This is an animated joke. I hope a video submission flies here."