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Joke of the Day
"I lost a roomba in my apartment. Don't ask me to babysit."
Next Joke
"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking... and this [copilot starts sick beatbox] is your captain rapping ALL OUT OF FUEL ALL OUT"
"Are you impulsive? Think about it"
"""This is the bomb!!!"" --'90s terrorist"
"How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with."
"Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!"
"What's the definition of gross? Two vampires fighting over a used tampon"
"How do you disappoint a Redditor? [deleted]"
"What is Laziness? Logical Answer It is the Art of Taking Rest Before Getting Tired."
"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""