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Joke of the Day
"I lost a roomba in my apartment. Don't ask me to babysit."
Next Joke
"What do your mom and the Baltimore Police have in common? They both like giving nickel rides to black men!"
"Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge? To avoid car-pool tunnel!"
"Hey man, 1980 called. It wants its--oh, can you hold on? I've got 1945 on the other line, and he's conferencing in 1973 so I should get this"
"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."
"What does a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both enjoy a tight Seal."
"a Guy walks down an American street. He sees a policeman and wave. Later the same day the police explain to the press: ''It was self-defence, he had a gun in his hand somewhere''"
"What is the president's favorite vegetable? BARACK-oli. Courtesy of my friend Abraham."
"A bad picture of you, and your automatic response is... ""Don't put that on Facebook!"""
"10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God."