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Joke of the Day
"I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together."
Next Joke
"Imagine a masonry wall... Now, picture just one piece of it... This, my friends, is a mental block."
"snickers where r mah snickers"
"You know that episode of Friends where Joey tries to speak French? That's what I hear when watching the State of the Union Address"
"My friend just graduated from her ballet course in university. She got a (2:2)"
"I went into a cafe and said, "" A crocodile sandwich and make it snappy."""
"If life gives you lemons... Make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic"
"Did you hear that protons have mass? Na"
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. First they beat the room for being black, then they arrest the light bulb for being broke."
"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"