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Joke of the Day

"Oh science, oh science, oh science!!"" ~An atheist having sex."

"Women: Think of every guy you have ever been friends with. He has jerked off to you. Good talk."

"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas... My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas. They got me a Rolex. They clearly misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain't going to shift your beer belly is it."

"It's a great time to be a horse caretaker in this economy Stable jobs are hard to come by these days."

"I didn't believe women were getting their assholes bleached Then my sisters boyfriend took his hat off..."

"What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal? Darth Vader."

"Why do you love your baby so much. You've only known it for like 4 weeks."

"ADHD in the streets Naughty fr...so hey, does anyone want to play Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"I was watching FOX Sports, but decided to switch to the History Channel... You still get to see the US destroy Japan, but there are fewer commercials! Edit: grammar"