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Joke of the Day

"Why did the blonde go to church? B/c she heard there was a guy hung like [this](https://riverchurchtelford.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jesus.jpg)"

"I keep swallowing live ammunition. I thought, this time I'm going to go to the hospital, but as usual, I just farted a round at home."

"Fine. I'll rush you to the hospital, but then we're doing what I want."

"Why did the sea-monster eat 5 ships filled with potatoes? Because no one can eat just one potato ship."

"A cruise ship with a Gay Pride party on board... ran into a storm and began to take on water quickly but by some miracle did not sink. What saved the ship? ""flambuoyancy"""

"Doctor how do I stop my nose from running?! Stick your foot out and trip it up!"

"Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me."

"I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask ""are we there yet?"" when they're fully aware they now live in a car"

"Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories."

"'original' is my second name . . . 'un' is my first"