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Joke of the Day

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night? Lie in bed wondering ""Is there really a dog?"""

"[Tornado siren blaring] Wife: Let's go to the basement. Me: There will be no line at Pizza Hut buffet. Wife: Me: I'll bring you a salad."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass rex"

"I really don't want to be a professional web developper Selling my <body> feels wrong."

"""Are you a member of any organized political party?"" ""No. I'm a Republican."""

"I drank so much Mt. Dew my taste buds turned into tase bros."

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."

"Friends are like boobs... Some are small, some are big, some are real, some are fake."

"What language do bill boards use? Sign language."

"Two nuclear explosions occur next to each other. ""You're way too close to me"" says nuke #1. ""I'm Feynman"" says the other."