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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? Because the sign says No Tres passing"

"I went to a zoo the other day, all they had was a dog... It was a shihtzu. Thanks to Drinking Buddy from Fallout 4 for this knee-slapper."

"How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who gives a cluck? (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible?)"

"Give me a massage ""Mm okay"" *rubs oil all over her* *things get hot* *things get too hot* *she bursts into flames* ""Dang I used petroleum"""

"I was stuck in traffic while on the road in Ireland... Cork was in a bottleneck."

"I've had rain boots sitting in my dorm since college started. I never thought I'd need them. As it turns out, these boots are made for Joaquin."

"Don't kiss today You're going to fast, it's only the first date"

"Why do black people hate chainsaws? **RUN** NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA"

"Never ask someone to promise they'll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. Ask them to promise that the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."

"What do you call a jewish man? By his name"