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Joke of the Day
"How did the detective solve his cold-case? He put it in a conviction-oven."
Next Joke
"What music do cats prefer? Deadmau5"
"What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner? Sedimentary my dear Watson!"
"A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame & place it on the mantel at the party."
"[posing nude] ME: make sure to capture all of my body's contours DMV GUY: again, this is entirely inappropriate for a license photo"
"My mom asked me a question and when I went to answer she said, ""Hold on I can't hear you. I gotta turn on the light."" The dark was too loud?"
"If she says ""well you're too busy to chat so have a good day"" ..what she means is she hopes it's a good day for your hair to catch on fire."
"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? Spirits."
"I can't stand holocaust jokes, they hit too close to home. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off one of the watchtowers"
"What's the difference between American and Muslim teenage girls? It's illegal to fuck American girls when they're 12."